Respite

So many things to write, so many things to do, but so little time. As cliché as it may sound, I have been rummaging through the “to do things” from the paper post-its to desktop reminders and even to cellphone notes; it seems endless; it seems that I can’t put a “done” mark in every “to do”. Everything seems to be trapped in the future and I cannot bury them in the past.

About a year ago, I had the longest rest in my life: an unexpected rest, something that knocked me down. It was a very depressing period of my life. But I must say that it was the most fruitful time I had with God. That was the time I learned to start the day by reading the Bible and doing daily devotions to talk to God before anything else.

That was the time of emotional unrest but I must say that it was also the time of spiritual growth: a genuine respite.

Today, as I write this, it was a different kind of unrest. Just last night, it came to me again, the most fiendish of all sorts: migraine. It never fails to knock me down. I can’t remember when it first visited me, perhaps when I was in college. It was too strong to the extent that it would really drag me to bed. It’s the type of headache that seems to control my brain, which controls the entire bodily movements. Kay would always tell me that it’s perhaps a signal or a reminder that I must rest.

So rest I did.

When I woke up this morning, the pain has subsided, but I still felt dizzy. Most of all, I felt hungry. I wasn’t able to eat last night because every time I would try, I would vomit minutes later. The whole day, I slept, woke up, ate, and slept again. It was 4:00 in the afternoon when I finally decided to shake it off. I know I have had enough rest and I must decide to make significant movements. I cleaned the CR and my room (especially that stains from my vomit are still there.) And here I am, scribbling experiences, trying to come up with realizations. I had a lot, but the most important was about my faith.

My faith is strong and I believe that the Lord allowed this to happen for me to have time to rest: something that everyone needs. I had the time to think and rethink, to reflect and to refresh my mind. I thank God for this day. I thank God for giving me the time to rest. He truly is faithful and merciful and He knows what’s best for us.

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” 

Matthew 11:28