Thanksgiving

This Christmas is indeed very different from the past two Christmases that I had since I graduated from college. Indeed, this is the “thinnest” in terms of finances, since I work as a part time faculty, and I didn’t have the usual Christmas bonuses and gifts that I had two Christmases ago. More unfortunate is the fact that I wasn’t able to get my December salary from PNU. What a pity. O well, if it means “serving the Filipino people” then I’d be glad—but let’s face it, it’s just the pathetic system.

So much for the bitterness. As I have mentioned, this Christmas is indeed very much different from the last two…It’s happier and more bountiful—in terms of blessings. It’ll take me a lot of time to list them down one by one, but allow me to enumerate some of them (skip boring parts, if you wish to)

1. This year was a phenomenal year for me. “Phenomenal” because once again, I was able to prove to the world and to myself that I can break barriers; that I can free myself from the prison walls. Indeed, I was able to unravel the bigger (and real) world of an educator, in a real school, in a real university
2. Despite living alone, God has been a provider and protector. Through out my stay in my “flat” (I prefer calling it cave) God never left me and I was able to survive. There would be days that I would be financially down (particularly because the salary in PNU is 10 days delayed on the average) but in the brink of hunger, God would always be there to send what I need. I look forward to another year—though I really pray that I can move to a better place, one with my own CR. Hehe
3. I was able to adapt to my new environments. Well, even if I’m a PNU alumnus, I still had a lot of adjustments—from student to faculty. In the case of La Salle, I didn’t have that much of a problem. The people are friendly, although of course there are some who are not so warm. But as Kay would always tell me, “keri lang”.
4. The SK praise and worship team’s fund raising concert was a blast! It’s not something new. We prepare concerts almost every year, but this year’s concert was a blast because we were the ones responsible from planning to arranging to marketing. I also felt that we have somehow elevated our skills in playing the instruments, singing new songs, and using these God-given talents to praise Jesus.
5. Healthy family. Another year has passed, and God has been very kind to our family. Nobody got seriously sick (although old age begins to manifest to my parents) Kay would observe that our lifestyle has evolved. Yeah, even if we weren’t richer than before, I think we weren’t as hungry as before as well. Nevertheless, a healthy body is more than enough to be thankful about.

Whether we feel blessed or depressed, this season is something to be thankful about, since it reminds us of one great love that God has offered to us. I am not perfect, nor am I holy, but I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New year. God Bless us all. =)

Why the Thais can…

Contrary to what Deputy Presidential Spokesperson Anthony Golez thinks of Thais, I think they are more politically “mature” than us. Amazingly, within a matter of two years (or so) they were able to topple two corrupt and questionable prime ministers (Thaksin Shinawatra and Somchai Wongsawat).

I can’t help but envy the power of democracy in their country. Yeah, some may think negatively about the “rash” actions of Thai protesters, but isn’t that what democracy is all about? (Although this is sometimes taken into different levels; to some extent, negatively.)

I can’t help but ask, “Why on earth can they do it twice in such a short period of time? Why can’t we? Why in the world is the impeachment case always blocked in the lower house?”

Oh well, probably the Thais never stopped to embrace democracy (is it probably because this country has been in the hands of monarchs for the longest time?) while Filipinos (I assume) have grown tired of it.

Whenever people discuss about political issues (particularly on the streets, in barber shops, in tapsilogans, etc.) I would usually hear, “E wala namang nagbabago e [nothing has changed]”

Indeed, Filipinos have become apathetic over political issues in the country. This, I think, is the most prevalent reason why we can’t unseat the illegitimate and corrupt president (yeah, more than Thaksin and Somchai) who clings tightly in Malacañang.

In support of Ms. Mercado

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to merely spread my comments and [violent] reactions towards the Jennilyn Mercado-Patrick Garcia issue.

I’m not usually a “showbiz” person (and my students, friends, and family know this for a fact) But allow me to express my deep vexation towards Patrick Garcia and his coward acts.

First of all, I would like to express my support towards the decisions made by Ms. Mercado to move to America and have her child be far away from the guy who claims to be the child’s “father.” Secondly, I would like to express my awe to Mr. Garcia (the nerve)

Pro-life and pro-family people would strongly disagree with my arguments. They would say that it’s the child’s right to be in contact and know his/her parents. Moreover, they would say that for the sake of the child’s welfare, the parents should be given the rights to spend time with the child.

However, with the poorly-made decisions and alibis made by Mr. Garcia that led to the current situation, I believe that the decision of Ms. Mercado to raise the child by herself far outweigh the benefits of having the child be in contact with a coward and pretentious father—who is very much prone to repeat the same abandonment in the future.

Didn’t Mr. Garcia turn his face around and left Ms Mercado with the entire burden during pregnancy up to delivery? This, I believe, is more than enough ground to say that Mr. Garcia should not be given any privilege to be with Ms. Mercado’s child. The only contribution Mr. Garcia gave to Ms. Mercado is his sperm; no more no less.

Dereliction of responsibilities as father is a crime (or the root of a crime, at least).

Moreover, didn’t he accuse Ms. Mercado of having sexual relationships with another guy (in the persona of Mr. Mark Herras), and that he argues that the child isn’t his? Why is it that recently, he claims the child as his? Such a lame excuse adds up to the causes why this guy shouldn’t be given legal rights to be with Ms. Mercado’s child.

I can’t help but wonder, what really is the goal of Mr. Garcia? Is he probably trying to gain publicity, so as to revive his lost career? Is he trying to show “at least I tried” to the public?

(NOTE: The information regarding this issue are gathered from news items. The veracity of the facts may be questionable as we don’t really know their personal lives. At the end of the day, this blog addresses young couples in general—ahem** I hope I won’t eat my words in the future…)

When devils pray

Sadly, Christianity and Christian practices have been bluntly bastardized within Malacañang.

First, the press secretary’s name (Jesus) seems one of the biggest ironies. Biblically speaking, we all know that Jesus served the people; Dureza, on the other hand, serves GMA. Jesus was known to be temperate. He thinks first before he acts, and when He acts, He acts graciously. However, unlike Him, the (forsaken) namesake, acts haphazardly—not thinking of his prayer’s repercussions.

Second, the prayer itself was clearly pre-meditated—even if Dureza claims that he left his “script” and for that, he will be praying out of his heart. This makes everything clearer. If he really prayed “out of his heart” then his intention is truly to support GMA’s extension of term. But what irritated me more is on how GMA reacted. She tried to show “irritation” (by rolling her eyes and covering her face). But she undoubtedly favored Dureza’s prayer. If she didn’t, she should have reprimanded Dureza for such malicious prayer. From her body language, I should say that she was elated. Her reaction seems to be similar to that of a high school girl being informed that the cutest guy in campus has a crush on her.

I find it irritating. Is it really necessary for politicians to politicize everything—to the extent of using Christianity? Is it part of their job description? I wonder when these politicians would realize that more than politics, they are public servants; and that they were voted precisely to work for the people.

***

When devils pray, the intention is not to communicate with God—it’s to advance their personal and political motives.

Let’s pray a genuine prayer, a prayer for the benefit of the country, and not for the people who have led this country astray.

The martyrdom of Eliseo dela Paz & JocJoc Bolante

It has been a perpetual theme: sacrifice is the greatest act of love and loyalty that anyone can do.

With this in mind, I can’t help but ask myself how much love these two “good dogs” have for their bosses; how loyal they are to the god who feeds their mouths (as well as their bellies).

Can you just imagine a PNP general, once feared by his subordinates, accepting the entire fault? What’s more amusing is his "heroic act" of accepting all the tomatoes, stones, and everything pelted upon him, his wife, and the rest of the Euro generals. How noble. But if he thinks his act would lead him to be buried in the Libingan ng mga Bayani in Taguig, he’s dead wrong. Soon, we would see dela Paz buried under his poorly constructed lies and alibis.

An even more “classic” type of martyrdom is Bolante’s, which could even outlast that of the GOMBURZA or the Trece Martirez—at least in the eyes of his boss, the one who led him to the road to perdition.

I can’t imagine where he got such nerves to act as if he’s as innocent as a child—where in fact, his acting and dialogue are poorly rehearsed. Nobody was happy and nobody believed his claims about his innocence. More importantly, nobody believed that his boss has nothing to do with it.

Somehow, I also pity these two people, because it’s also possible that they would like to expose the people behind it, but they just can’t make themselves and their families the target of their boss’s bounty hunters.

Technically speaking, they may think that they are winning this game, but later on, they’ll realize (if they still have a conscience) how wrong it is to steal the money of the republic; how evil it is to use the supposed funds for projects beneficial to the Filipino people, in favor of their personal motives.

In Crime and Punishment, Dostoevsky espouses that the mind of the criminal would eventually torment him, and that is the greatest punishment anyone could receive.

This is the way to the truth: the hard way.

Jocjoc's joke isn't funny at all

Pathetic acting.

This is how I describe Bolante’s dramatic joke of clutching his chest for alleged chest pains upon arrival at the airport. Interestingly though, the doctors tell us that his problem is ulcer.

Can some theater arts group conduct an acting workshop on this scumbag? Can some prompter please shout, “Stick to the script!”

If he thought his “joke” made people laugh—or pity him—he’s dead wrong. Nobody believed that he was really suffering from whatever ailment—ulcer, hypertension, or hyperulcer for that matter. Nobody cares—or at least I don’t—whether he’s dying or what. After all, did he even care if the Filipino people were dying out of hunger when they squandered the 700 billion fertilizer funds to campaign his illegitimate boss?

The real people experiencing such pains are the Filipino people from which they have robbed. We clutch our chests for we can’t bare such poor acting, such lame jokes, such blunt corruption and outright crime against us. We squeeze our stomachs—together with our pockets—for we cannot fill ourselves with our immediate needs such as food, shelter, clothing, education, and health services.

BUKELYA

Whether you agree or not, it’s a fact: We have unconsciously developed a culture of ignominy over standards, rules, and regulations. We tend to console ourselves by saying, “If you’re not caught, then there’s no problem.” Somehow, this notion is acceptable—especially if you’re going to view “decisions” and “choices” from an existentialist’s point of view. But what appalls me is the fact that when people get caught, they are not so talented as to make up stories and save their sorry asses.

The recent discovery of PNP’s P6.9M “contingency fund” is one hell of a catch; and I should say that these men in uniform didn’t undergo any drama classes as they are so poor in presenting themselves in the Senate inquiry.

Indeed, everyone suddenly shifted attention from the economic recession, Meralco bills, and transportation fare issues to the junket-looking trip that our noble cops—sworn “to serve” (probably their big bellies) and “to protect” (their personal assets, perhaps)—and their wives have gotten themselves into.

But “getting caught” isn’t new.

We caught Erap on tape, having fun while gambling people’s money.

We caught Gloria over the phone talking to Garci, and asking him to manipulate the election in Mindanao to her favor.

We caught Jocjoc hoarding the fertilizer funds in favor of his ingrate boss.

We caught Ben Abalos profiteering from the canceled NBN-ZTE deal—and witnessed how the issue “bukoled.”

Indeed, the current issue about the disputed Moscow trip isn’t really “new.” We have proven since time immemorial that this country is run by greedy and corrupt officials who never had the conscience to consider that the money that they are squandering came from the sweat and blood of common people like us.

But I think we should never be contented by exposing their crimes. The issue will never be closed unless someone gets penalized for his/her wrong acts.

I just hope and pray that the Senate inquiry will lead into something fruitful, because it has also been proven that we’re just good in catching, but these big fish criminals seldom get punished. Why not remove the blindfold of that Justice statue?

Re-educating the Bloody Britons

I find it quite ironic. The nation that presented a culture of elegance and sophisticated etiquette is exactly the same nation that shows intolerable and offensive behavior.

True enough, the way BBC defends itself is a reflection of how boastful and conceited this nation has become.

This isn’t something new of course. Edward Said, author of the book “Culture and Imperialism” and proponent of the term “Orientalism”, has presented a lot of Imperialist nature from the literatures coming from European countries, especially that of England. Indeed, this nation continuously raises their pointed noses on top of the world.

The portion in a “comedy” show—where a Filipina househelper was commanded like marionette, making her the subject of laughter—clearly showcases the imperialist nature of the Britons. They even had the nerve to defend themselves by saying that the controversial show was “so far beyond the realms of reality as to be absurd—and in no way is intended to demean or upset any viewer.” (PDI, 10 October 2008)

Of course, any person would present an “It was not intentional” alibi for such matters that raises discrimination issues in the global community. But these Bloody Britons should have thought of that before playing god towards the Filipina househelper (and besides, it was them who defined “Filipina” as a brown-skinned househelper in a controversial dictionary. Correct me if I’m wrong.)

Moreover, even if they claim that it was not intended “to demean or upset any viewer,” nobody would believe them since their actions are not parallel to their words.

Come to think of it, when you unintentionally said something derogatory to someone, and you really didn’t intend it, your automatic response (if you don’t belong to the imperialist culture, of course) would be to say “sorry” and appease the person—make him/her understand that it was not your intention to hurt his/her feelings.

But the Bloody Britons kept their noses high, as if saying “We didn’t do anything wrong. Hence, there’s no reason to be sorry about.”

Should we hate the Britons? Not exactly.

I think we should re-educate them on the good manners and proper conduct that, in the first place, came from them.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Let’s continue to raise the Filipino voice and tell the world how disgusted we are about such actions.

METRO GWAPO?! METRO GAGO!

Yes. Like you I’m irritated with the poker-faced tarpaulins of Bayani Fernando. If he thinks that his poor mimicry of the signature pose of Ninoy Aquino in the 500-peso bills embody “kagwapuhan” (being handsome), then he’s dead wrong.

This PDA Public Display of Atrociousness over the metro is not just irritating, it’s infuriating. Bayani Fernando thinks that he owns the metro and that everything he does is acceptable. First, he painted the metro with pink. Then, he barricades EDSA with pink fences—which brought nothing but accidents. Lately, he paraded his face all over the metro with a “bossy” face as if saying, “Big brother is watching you!” Most recently, his “BAYANI” stickers are stuck on the windshields of buses—just as he is stuck on Gloria’s ass—and worse, he even joined Celebrity Duets. Celebrity, yeah that’s him…that’s what he thinks he is, and he’s nothing more than that.

But the country is not a TV show. He’s not supposed to act as the protagonist, when in fact, he’s the opposite.

When asked to react about the BAYANI stickers, the megalomaniac chairman boastfully answered, “e wala naman akong nakikitang mali doon [I don’t see anything wrong with that]”

What more can I say? This answer is a clear example of “KAGAGUHAN” selfishness, narrow-mindedness, and nothing more than self-praise. Bayani thinks he’s the hero, but I think he’s the ANTI-hero. (N.B. Antihero shouldn’t be taken as the antihero in literature.)

Let me check if I’m making sense.

USLI, which MMDA defines as anything stemming out of an establishment and affects the “beauty” of the sidewalk, BAD.

VENDORS making a living along the sidewalk, BAD.

BUSES loading and unloading anywhere, BAD.

But uhm…

BAYANI posters, BAYANI stickers, and Pink fences…GOOD?!

I say they’re “badder” and more unacceptable than the USLI, VENDORS, and BUSES, because these contributors to the ugliness of the metro are surface problems—which can be solved using ample approaches and political will—whereas his ugly face and bureaucratic aura stinks to the core, and can never be solved except through divine intervention.

Is Bayani the prospective president in 2010?! If he thinks that the approach he implemented in Marikina is applicable in Metropolitan Manila and more broadly, the whole country, he is disillusioned. If he thinks singing his heart out in broken notes will entertain the Filipinos, he must be dreaming.
If he can’t handle the metro and transform it into his idea of a METRO GWAPO, then I don’t see any reason for any rational Filipino to vote for this person who has merely turned the metro, and the people living in it into a community of METRO GAGO.


P.S.

Oh, and by the way Mr. Fernando, as much as I understand it, your domain is in the METROPOLITAN, hence the name Metropolitan Manila Development Authority. I don’t see any valid reason why your posters, campaigns, trucks, and personnel are spreading the GAGOness in Cavite…

Moronic Goverment

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BOBO

Sabi nila, wala daw taong bobo.

Well, akala mo lang wala yon. Pero MERON! MERON! MERON!

At naglipana sila sa paligid.

Yang katabi mo sa Comp Shop, malamang bobo yan; yung nakatabi mo knina sa jeep; malamang bobo yon, yung mismong syota mo, malamang bobo yan (patulan ka ba naman).

Pero kidding aside, marami naman kase tlagang BOBO sa paligid diba? Sino ba kaseng Affective-Humanistic ang nagsabing walang bobo? Sa palagay ko nasabi n’ya lang yon para ibsan ang pamamanglaw ng isang batang sabaw (o san ka pa? rhyming, pedeng pantula)

Maraming uri ng bobo. Technically, bobo ka pag paulit-ulit na o kaya super obvious na, e di mo pa rin magets. (Gets mo? Buti naman, kase kung hindi tigilan mo na ang pagbabasa, dahil malamang ikaw na ang tinutukoy ko)

Bilang halimbawa, ang pinakamalaking maliit na bobo sa lahat e sino pa? Edi ung mga presidente—specifically yung presidente ng isang “malaki at divergent” na kumpanya na pinagtatrabahuhan ko dati; clue? Well, uhm, di sila related ni Butch, ung taga Startalk na bubulol-bulol magreport (tsismis na nga lang sasabihin di pa magawa ng ayos); at MORE specifically, yung presidenteng nagpupumilit umupo sa Malacañang.

Baket kamo? Maraming dahilan e. Isa na dito yung pagbubulag-bulagan sa reyalidad. Nasa harapan na, tinatanggi pa, ika nga ng ermat ko “Nabangga na, lumulusot pa.” Yun bang tipong, nagsipagresign na ang mga tao sa kumpanya mo, e di mo pa rin narerealize na palpak ang management system (kung meron man) at leadership styles mo—keber kung nag 7-habits ka pa. Yun bang tipong tirik na ang mata ng mga tao sa paligid mo, sasabihin mo pa ring pumuprugreso ang ekonomiya ng bansa.

Isa pang sintomas ng pagiging bobo ang ‘di pagtanggap sa mga kapalpakang nagagawa. Bobo ka kung lagi mong iisipin na may maganda sa ginawa mo; dahil ang katotohanan may pangit sa bawat desisyon natin (syempre, bobo-slash-emo ka naman kung lagi mong iisipin na pangit lagi ang ginagawa mo—tapos maglalaslas ka. Tawag sayo TANGnEMO: Tanga + Emo). Yun bang tipong iniisip mong ang desisyon mo ay “profitable” pero di mo naman inisip na patay na yung mga taong nagtrabaho para kumita ka. Profit lang ba palagi? In short, bobo ka kung di ka marunong magtimpla, kung puro ka trabaho at wala kang panahon para tumambay, tumunganga, at humilata.

Pero eto ang magandang balita, lahat naman ng tao ay may pagkakataong makaalis sa estado ng kabobohan na kinalalagyan nya.

Ang unang paraan ay pagtanggap na bobo ka. Mas madaling maalis ang kabobohan kung tatanggapin sa sarili na, “Shet. Bobo ako. Sorry sa inyong lahat, at sorry saken”

Pangalawa, kaylangang hubdin ang kabobohan sa pamamagitan ng malalim na pag-iisip sa mga bagay-bagay. Kung hindi mo kaya, magtanong-tanong at humingi ng tulong. Pag nagawa mo yan, nasa unang hakbang ka na sa katalinuhan. Dahil gaya ng nabanggit kanina, bobo ka kung iisipin mong lagi kang tama.

Pangatlo at panghuli, gawing palagian ang pagninilay-nilay at pagtatanong-tanong. Sa ganitong paraan, maiibsan ang kabobohang nakagisnan dahil namumulat ka na sa kaisipan ng sangkatauhan.

So ano? Bobo ka ba? Iligtas ang sarili sa epidemya ng kabobohan.

Prayer for Food

“Matt the trash can’s there oh…” Ms. Weng, one of my fellow teacher at La Salle told me as we walk out of the faculty lounge after lunch. I smiled thinly and said “There’s still some left, I’ll eat it later.”

***

It was my late grandmother who taught me how to pray before meals. She taught me, my sister, and my cousins a simple prayer—it was more of a song. It goes like:

Ama sa langit
Salamat sa’yo,
God bless our food
Amen

From then on, praying before eating became more of a habit, a ritual that should be done. Although as I grew up I learned the reason and importance for praying before eating, I seldom realize it—I think it’s human nature. We don’t see the importance of something we habitually do, or the importance of someone close to us.

***

“Will it not spoil?” she inquired. “No, I don’t think so, I’ve tried it last week,” I replied with a hearty laugh. For two weeks now, I’ve been cost cutting. I eat little of the viand during lunch time to save it for dinner. When it’s dinner time, I would be buying a cup rice from a nearby carinderia that costs 8 pesos. Through this, I was able to save around 30 to 50 pesos from my budget for meals—I spend an average of 120 pesos for food each day. This is when I started to realize and ponder deeply on the importance of the prayer before meals.

Contrary to what people assume, I am not profiting much nowadays. One reason—I’d like to believe—is that I’m on the adjustment stage, and that I have only received my paycheck. Another reason could be the poor economics of this country. Whichever reason is applicable to my situation—and to the rest of the Filipino workforce, there’s not much option but to keep one’s head up and surivive.

***

“Lola, why do we pray before we eat?” I would ask my grandma. “Because we have to thank God for the food we eat,” she would answer with her soft and sweet voice. “Did our food come from heaven?” I would curiously ask. She would smile and answer, “Yes Matt.”

***

Back then, I thought that our food was literally delivered from heaven. Later I realized that the terms “blessings” and “gifts from God” are more of spiritual than literal. As I grew up I realized that God would give gifts and blessings through people.
I didn’t realize how important food was, until I started buying them from my meager salary. I realized the rationale for praying; it’s simply to thank God for the opportunity to still have something to eat, for money to buy for food, for the resources He provides to sustain life.

With piles of bills to pay and problems to face, never forget that God is there to carry the cross and unburden us.

Looking for peace?

For answers?

Pray.

It’s a direct call—no costumer service representatives needed.

Enslaved on Independence Day

I was too engrossed playing Grand Theft Auto (yeah, that old school game) last Wednesday night that I didn’t notice the time. I slept at around 1230MN. It wasn’t too late actually, aside from the fact that I have an early morning class the next day at PNU. The next morning, as expected, I woke up late (6AM). I jumped out of bed and took a quick bath (my class is at 7AM, by the way) At 6:30, I’m already eating at the nearby tapsihan. Since I didn’t have the time to eat, I moved out of the eatery at 6:40. I was fortunate enough to ride on an FX that brought me to PNU (and with long strides reached BPS 209B) at exactly 7:00 AM.

From that time to 10:00, I held my class; gave out lectures and activities; and went to La Salle for my afternoon class. I was too tired that I took a nap in the faculty lounge. When I regained my strength, I took lunch, and minutes later went to class.

The class went as what we normally do—from 1:00 to 4:10. Afterwards, at 4:20, I started my writing lab tutorial. This carried on until 6PM. Exhausted, I went home and took a rest.

***

Well, some might have a more stressful Thursday, but it isn’t the point. That Thursday was June 12, the Philippine Independence Day, and I can’t forgive myself for failing to greet my students. How could I have forgotten it?

While there is no one to be blamed but me (since I was too preoccupied), I may also say that it was because of what happened—or what did not happen. That Thursday was an ordinary Thursday. There was nothing “extravagant” and “traditional” to at least remind me, “Hey, you’re supposed to celebrate, today’s when you’re country got its freedom from 400 years of Spanish Colonial rule.”

GMA chose to “celebrate” Independence day with a flurry of booths in Luneta, which aim to provide services to Filipinos (i.e. job opportunities). However, I can’t help but ask, “Why on that day? Can’t the ‘service to the Filipino’ be done on another day? Or even EVERYday?”

The move of GMA was supported by the premise that the government is trying to save funds. While this is very timely, I think this statement from Malacañang is rather hypocritical. There are many other aspects from which the government can save. Say, downgrade the vehicles that politicos use—these people usually ride luxurious SUVs, with V8 engines which means that a full tank would more likely cost P4,000; plus the security convoy, et ceterea et cetera. But of course, they won’t do that.

This government’s decision to “celebrate” Independence Day differently is absurd and irrational. It only shows how narrow these people think. It only proves how these people care for their popularity, rather than the identity of the nation. Disregarding national festivities such as the independence day by moving it out of its original date just for the sake of “holiday economics” and worse, ignoring it are proofs that this country is still enslaved.

Choices and Consequences

I'm not a brat... or maybe I am.

But how do you define a "brat'?

I never experienced asking my mother and father to buy me something (i.e. toys and kid stuff); we were informed about our lean budget since we were kids. If "brat" is defined as someone who gets what s/he wants by "threatening" people around him (especially parents) or having tantrums, then I guess I'm not.

I get what I want (most of the time). But I work for it real hard. I sold "polvoron" and "yema" during my elementary days so that I can buy myself snacks. I sold "lumpia" and "turon"under the blistering heat of the sun to buy myself a guitar. I persuaded classmates and friends and to sell their stuff at a very low price or give them to me in exchange of some odd things (i.e. running errands for them or finishing their assignments or projects)

I accomplish my plans, or at least I try. I face people (or write to them) and tell them frankly how I loathe their practices (especially in the workplace), which is exactly what I did a few months ago.

I got pissed off with the "culture" and character of people in my former "school".

I resigned.

I chose to leave the "fortunes" served in the not-so-genuine silver platter. I chose to leave some of the friends and colleagues that for years served as members of the secret society of the abused. I chose to go back to the polluted and over populated Metro Manila.

I chose to live alone.

But I'm not a hypocrite, and during the first 2 weeks of my stay in my humble abode, I realized that somehow, living on your own is not that "cool".

There were nights when I felt so solitary. No one to talk to and nothing much to do (which made me realize how badly I need a laptop--which is the message behind my Friendster shoutout: "...accepts donations...") I should be happy, now I have more time for myself; now I have more time to read. But I'm a person who tries to adhere to the Chinese concept of the Yin and Yang. I need to engage to other recreational activites more than reading. In short, I need to chat (literally and virtually).

Fortunately, just yesterday, Kay and I had an opportunity to talk (It's been a while, since she buried herself into solitary confinement for 100 years... because of Gabriel Garcia Marquez and his spiritual Filipino alter ego, Venancio Lazaro Mendiola) She told me that I'm being melancholic because of the fact that the other school (from which I will be a part time faculty) hasn't started classes yet.

Maybe she's right and I should just enjoy the dumb moments inside my shack. She even pressed me to finish reading The Last Temptation of Christ (I'm in chapter 23 in all fairness) so that she can borrow it. I told her it's not something you read quickly because the context is highly meditative like Hesse's Siddharta, but she snides that I've been reading it for a year now and I should let go of it. (Well, hopefully I'll be able to finish it in no time ;-) )

Realizations 101: Maybe it's just part of the adjustment. Hopefullt, in the next few days, I'll be meeting and chatting with old friends and new friends.

Life is what we make it, consequences are results of our choices. <-- taray

Day 1 (May 22, 2008)

Manila wasn't so kind in welcoming me back.

Yesterday (May 21, 2008) was my 1st night in my humble shack--in between the newly built high-rise condominium and Benilde's Angelo King Hotel. Rain poured gently, but my head ached badly. I wasn't able to have my dinner since I can't pully myself out of my airbed--luckily i had the strength earlier to inflate it.

My room wasn't so bad, it's concrete walls are painted white (or at least it is); the floor is covered with dirty white linoleum (I believe it wasn't that dirty when it was installed); a painting in black canvass hangs on the wall; and the temperature isn't too bad.

But I guess the problem--which I did not foresee--is ventilation. The window is big enough but since my room is in the ground level, air is blocked, aside from the fact that I have to cover it with a thick curtain for privacy purposes.

To sum it up, I'd like to believe that my body is just adjusting to the new environment that I'm into.

Oh well, If I had the guts to leave all the "fortunes" I had before, then I must have the balls to face the challenges that lie before me. Aluta Continua! (borrowed from Pandot)

An Evening of Music, Praise, and Worship

Last night was my first time to step into the portals of Araneta Coliseum--the Big Dome from which every basketball player wishes to play, and every musician wishes to perform. They say that an artist who can fill the araneta with audience is 'someone'. But last night, it was not just filled, it was jam packed...with Christian Youth--and somehow even Non-Christians--and THEY are not 'someone', Jesus is.

It was the concert of Hillsong United--that Pop Church Music that you usually hear at SM when you pass by House of Praise. I don't know the people, but I know the songs, the melodies, the praises that each note gives unto Jesus.

Aside from the first-time-Araneta experience, it was also the first time for our Praise and Worship team to engage in such an activity. Even better is that we were accompanied by the next generation Praise and Worship MInisters (which somehow reminded me that I'm not getting any younger).

It was a night of overwhelming joy from songs of praise; a night of exciting adventure in the Cubao jungle; a night of bonding moments with fellow worshippers of Jesus Christ. =)

The Language of Beauty Queens

I haven’t realized the fiasco that Bb. Pilipinas has created until I heard a number of text polls conducted in FM radio stations. I was totally unaware of what happened—and I decided not to take part of it, since the roster of candidates really disappointed me. Before I knew it, I was already caught in the web of insults and criticisms about Janina San Miguel—crowned Bb. Pilipinas World.

It started when Ann (a fellow English major) sent the Youtube link to the interview portion of the most prestigious—and now laughed about—beauty pageant in the country. At first, the faculty room exploded into fits of laughter upon watching it—in fairness, it was truly funny, even Janina laughed at the unlikely manner that she exhibited (because she was only 17…). But as days go on, some thoughts slowly crept my mind. Is it really something to laugh about? Or is it something that I, as an English teacher, should worry and act upon? (Aside from showbiz questions, such as: “Are we surrounded by beautiful-only personalities?”) Why do Filipinos laugh at the mistakes of fellow Filipinos?

I admit that I really laughed upon watching the video. Ironically, that was also the time when I was pondering on an article I read from the Inquirer. It was about “myths on languages.” One of the myths, according to the article, is that we tend to conclude that a person has a low I.Q. if s/he cannot language. I was asking myself, “Is this applicable to Janina?”

However, in fairness to Janina, I commend her when she said that her weakness in English is exactly her reason for taking up communication arts in college (correct me if I’m wrong). If she’s serious about what she said; if it’s not for publicity purposes, I believe she will succeed.

But as an English teacher, I still cannot help but be bothered. This is not the first time that I’ve heard a candidate answer in such a “distorted” English, and worse, in such irrelevant manner. The Bb. Pilipinas “incident” highlighted the country’s need to elevate the education system.

They…their…there…surely is a problem; and laughing and insulting are not solutions.

Case Closed?

No matter what cover up they do, the obnoxious odor under the carpets of the corrupt Palace will surely stink.

Even a citizen not fully aware of the situation happening regarding the ZTE scandal can clearly sense something “fishy”—not from the Pasig river which is at the backyard of Malacañang—inside the bulwark of trapos.

One would usually hear an Administration crony protect their beloved queen and her not-so-gentle-man by arguing that the deal has been canceled and that this issue is already closed.

But is it the issue of having a case closed? Would this be the situation had Joey De Venecia kept his mouth shut? Would this be the case had Jun Lozada stayed in Hongkong, and hid the truth inside a Chinese fortune cookie?

The administration’s defense that the deal has been canceled, and for that, it should be forgotten, is a pathetic tactic done by a snatcher who believes that his mistakes will be covered up by saying “Hey, I didn’t get anything from you.” (Because he was caught even before getting something)

The Bible defines adultery not merely as the act of having “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.” The Bible says that even THINKING about it is adulterous.

How I wish that George Orwell’s idea of a Thought Crime would be applicable to politicians who have the nerve to THINK of stealing the taxpayer’s hard-earned money for their personal gain.


The issue being inquired in the senate is not a closed case; it has just begun.

The English-Math Opposition Myth

It has been a myth that when you’re good in numbers, you’re poor in words—and vice versa. It’s considered as a “myth” since no research can prove this. I have even read an article that this is a totally wrong notion about the capacity of the brain to compute and communicate, since they belong to the same hemisphere of the brain (this info is yet to be proven).

I was in college studying different theories of learning when I encountered such arguments about the English-Math Opposition Theory (the term is just another invention of my scanty vocabulary; you know what it means don’t you?) But much as I want to believe the authorities in the field of education, I continue to gain experiences that prove the myth.

First, I got a 76 in College Algebra (thank God I only had 2 Math subjects back in college). Then, I almost flunked the Math area in the Board Exams (thanks to my ever reliable scientific calculator paired with a multiple choice question, I was able to guess answers).

But what made me conclude that the myth is real, is when I got to be employed. Now, it’s the other side of the coin. It’s the Math people performing poorly in communication.

I’m talking about the Accounting Department.

This bunch of CPAs (Certified Pathetic Accountants) has been performing poorly in their duties and secretly amending their errors at our backs. You wouldn’t notice them doing their magic unless you scrutinize your payslip (which, by the way, is delivered quarterly; beat that)

First, they would fail to deduct what needs to be deducted. You would even come to a point of thinking, “Did I have an increase?” Then, voila! The next payday, you get a salary not enough to buy you a BigMac (it’s an exaggeration of course). But the point of the matter is the fact that they would deduct without even telling you, (“Hey, we’re so sorry. We were too stupid last pay day, we weren’t able to deduct something; we’ll deduct it now”)

What’s more annoying is that they are too inhumane to deduct the whole thing—leaving you with centavos in your ATM card. They wouldn’t consider deducting it piece by piece. Their objective is to clean the mess as fast as they could.

We understand that “to err is human.” But to err (most of the time) is inhuman. We understand that there are deductions from our gross pay. But is it too difficult to at least INFORM the people about their plans and actions?

Padrino

“Baka naman pwede mong ipasok si Bobot sa pinagtatrabahuhan mo ngayon…”

“Wala ka pare, nakakapagtampo ka naman, ni hindi mo ako sinabihang d’yan ka pala nagtatrabaho sa kumpanyang yan…”

Ilan lamang ito sa mga narinig ko ng malaman ng mga kaibigan at kamag-anak ko na nagtatrabaho na ako, kulang-kulang 2 buwan pagkatapos ng graduation ko sa kolehiyo.

“Swerte naman ng anak mo. Samantalang etong si Junior ko, walang ginawa kundi magpalaki ng bayag maghapon.”

“Anu bang gatas ang pinapainom mo sa mga anak mo? Aba’y tlagang kesuswerte ano?”

Ito naman yung madalas kong marinig sa mga kapitbahay namen na madalas magpaluto ng Pancit Canton at uminom ng Pop Cola sa harap ng munti naming tindahan.

Madalas kaming hangaan ni ate ng mga kapitbahay namen. Hindi naman kame katalinuhan gaya nina Kuya Obey at Kuya Eric, na bukod sa mga honor graduates ng school nila, e inilalaban pa sa mga pakontes. Average na estudyante lang kame ni ate. Si ate, simula grade 1 hanggang 4th year high school nasa section one. Pero di naman sya kasali sa listahan ng pinakamahuhusay. Keri lang.

Ako naman, hanggan grade 6 lang sa section one. Pagtungtong ng 1st year high school, nanlumo ako kase nawala ako sa section one. Kapiling ko na ang mga kumag at basagulero sa eskwelahan namen. Pinangako kong babangon ako’t babalik sa section one. E kaso yun din ata ang motto ng mga brainy section one. Ayun, grumaduate ako ng high school na nasa section 6 (pangalawa sa huli, 7 sections kame noon e)

Balik tayo sa unang dalawang dialogue na nai-chika ko sa itaas. Dito samen sa Kabite, palasak na script na yan. Marami sa mga empleyado sa munisipyo nakaupo don dahil sa mga kakilala. ‘Yung ilang mga factory workers naman e naipasok ng mga kung sinong padrino nila. Si Erpat nga kala mo kung sinong political figure, aba’y ilang kapitbahay at kamag-anak din naman ang naipasok ng kumag sa isang factory sa Gateway (sa Manggahan). Dangan kasi’y kakilala nya ung “VP” daw doon. Kung ano man ang ibig sabihin ng “VP” e di ko na tinanong.

So ano ngayon? Ang siste e simple. Ang kultura ay malalim. Dito sa Kabite at sa iba pang sulok ng Pilipinas, usong-uso ang pagpapadrino.

Yung professor sa English I, di naman marunong mag-Ingles, pero nagtuturo.

Yung secretary ni Mayor, ni hindi marunong sumulat ng cover letter, pero tumatanggap ng buwanang sahod mula sa buwis ng bayan.

Yung isa kong estudyante, di makasagot ng tama at nuknukan ng tanga, pero buhay pa naman. Ewan ko kung bakit.

Kaya hindi na ko nagtataka kung baket me nars, doktor, abogado at kung sinu-sino pang pulpol dito at maging sa ilang panig ng mundo. E baket kamo? Nagsimula ang lahat sa pagpapadrino.

Kung baket ba naman kase di gamitin ang sariling talento? Ang sariling talino?

“E sorry ha? Di kase ako kasing talino mo noh. Tulog ako nung nagpaulan ang diyos ng talento.”

E kung ganto din lang naman ang takbo ng isip mo, e ba’t ka pa kaya nabuhay sa mundo?

Nakwento ko minsan ke Kay, “Dapat yung mga wala namang ginagawa dito sa Maynila e ipatapon sa probinsya nila at magbungkal ng lupa don. Kesa tumunganga sila dito. Puro pagkakalat lang naman alam nila; tatae kung saan saan; magkakang-kangan sa kariton; tapos dadami ng dadami. Pucha, parang mga ipis!”

Sa hinaba-haba ng sinabi ko at sa dinami-dami ng mga segway na sinalpak ko sa sulating ito, e simple lang naman ang mensahe ko:

Dumiskarte ka ng sarili mo; kung di mo kaya, benta mo nalang baga mo, o kaya yung pige mo.

NAWAWALA!

I was on my way home from SM (Silang Market) when I saw a couple—probably in their mid-40’s. We were at the same jeepney and they were carrying barely recognizable photocopies of a “poster.” I usually have this “hobby” of mocking poorly made posters and signages—wrong spelling, wrong use of punctuation marks, and wrong grammar. However, upon seeing their hand written poster, I suddenly felt something prick my heart.

When I see posters that waywardly use the exclamation point, I often raise, then knit my eyebrows.

WANTED!
DANGER!
WARNING!

If we’re going to analyze these from the exclamation point’s main function, it appears that the person/s who prepared them was in a state of shock; for them to “exclaim” their thoughts. It’s as if saying: “Oh my good lord!!!! Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhnnnnnnteeeed!!!” or “Don’t you dare go there!!! It’s superbly DANGEROUUSSSS!!!”

But when I saw the heading of their letter-sized poster,

NAWAWALA!

I didn’t get the usual feeling. Instead, I felt sorry. It didn’t matter to me whether they used the exclamation point wrongly or what. All I understood is that this couple is on the desperate stage of finding their loved one.

On my way home, while looking at them comforting each other with their exchange of pats on the shoulder and nods, I can’t help but remember that old parable from the new testament; the parable of the lost sheep. Yeah, everyone knows it; even its symbolisms and underlying message. Just like the shepherd who searched all over for one lost sheep, God also searches us whenever we tend to go out of His flock.

I wonder when Baltazar Reyes got lost. Judging from the barely-recognizable photo, he seems old. I don’t know if he’s the couple’s father, son, brother, or what. But one thing’s for sure, he’s a family; someone who’s important for them.

I wonder where Baltazar Reyes is now. Is he eating? Is he aware that there are people caring and looking for him?

I wonder why Baltazar Reyes got lost. Was he mentally ill? Did he ran away from home because of some dispute? Was he abducted by some drug syndicates? God knows.


Since December 27 last year, (2007) I was racking my brains because I tend to get out of my usual self. I indulged over my vacation and I forgot to write—although I’m happy ‘cause I had the chance to read books and articles again. I was thinking of the best new year blog. I thought of many ideas, but whenever I’m about to write it, I tend to get lost.

Last year many people got lost, yet many were found.

This year, the same thing might recur. We might lose things, friends (girlfriends/boyfriends), jobs, businesses, or even a family member. We might struggle to look for them and bring them back.

When every attempt turns futile, when every strength becomes withered, let us remember that God will make his way.

We might not recover what we lost, but God will.

Have a blessed New Year folks. ;-)